Getting married can be extremely stressful. Between trying to make sure you’ve picked the right guy to planning the perfect wedding you certainly don’t need added pressure from strangers. Unfortunately, you will be faced with the select few rude or nosy people. If you’re not a pin thin beauty queen be assured that you’ll hear about it at least once – as if you’re not already freaking out at the thought of being uncovered in front of someone for the first time.

A ‘normal’ weight person can spend their whole life dodging people’s unsolicited advice regarding their ‘health’, but when you’re getting married it seems as though all the etiquette rules get thrown out the window and the brigade of rudeness is all directed at you. Some of it is jealousy, some of it is nosiness, some of it is rudeness, and some of it is misdirected ‘kindness’. All of it needs to be shut down.

Every bride in the world naturally worries about her looks. She worries that she doesn’t have abs, that her stretch marks are too apparent, that her hair is too thin, that she doesn’t know how to apply makeup, that her thighs are too big, that her butt isn’t ‘apple bottom’ like… *let me catch my breath*… that her knees are too dark, that there are dark circles under her eyes, about hair removal, nail biting…

My point is… don’t worry, she’s thinking about it, so give the girl a break! Do people sincerely believed that this beautiful new bride isn’t stressed over her looks? Why, the wedding industry thrives on these insecurities!

To the innocent advice givers:

Either keep it to yourselves or give her an indirect gift that can help her out (tanning spray, zumba classes, hiking trip, unlimited access to your pool *ahem*). If you absolutely MUST say something (which I doubt you do) then be very sensitive. Tell her privately, and make it constructive.

To the beautiful brides-to-be:

He picked you. He picked you after taking into account your perfection and supposed imperfections. There is nothing wrong with pursuing a healthier lifestyle, our religion commends you for it, but it’s not the end of the world if you haven’t been able to get rid of your freshman 15 yet. Those 15 lbs were worth it, just think of the beautiful mind you now have! He picked you because he thinks you’re the complete package, and don’t let anyone make you forget that. Finally, avoid negative people like the plague because this isn’t the first happy experience they’ll try to destroy 

 

I wish I were your bridesmaid… I love weddings… Invite me!

Dana Habayeb
Dana Habayeb, MSc, CNC, ACE Certified Personal Trainer Dana Habayeb holds an MS in Public Health and Health Systems and a joint BS in Health Sciences and Psychology from the University of Waterloo. She has conducted quantitative and qualitative research in social psychology, cognitive psychology, and the health sciences. In addition, Dana is an ACE certified personal trainer and certified nutritional consultant from Weill Cornell Medicine. She specializes in teaching clients how to lose fat through proper nutrition and fitness. Her focus is on helping her clients understand the psychology and science behind fat loss so that they can achieve the results they want. Follow her on instagram for inspiration and updates @DanaIsBananas!